My roommate, Jess, used to ration her Provigil like it was the last chocolate bar on earth–half a tablet on Monday, quarter on Tuesday, hope for the best by Friday. Then her neurologist’s assistant slid a small plastic card across the counter and said, “Try this; the first fill is ten bucks.” Jess blinked, waiting […]
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Last Tuesday the dog barked at 2:17, the baby followed at 2:19, and by 2:43 I was staring at a spreadsheet that looked like alphabet soup. At 6:00 I had to pitch the quarterly numbers to Tokyo over Zoom. I poured 0.5 ml under my tongue, tasted faint citrus, and forgot about coffee for the […]
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I was halfway through a 12-hour night shift when the floor started to pulse like a bad nightclub. Three espressos deep and still nodding off, I remembered my roommate’s stash–small white pills she called “shift savers.” One half-tab, a glass of water, and 25 minutes later the conveyor belts stopped looking like pillows. That was […]
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Montreal commuter train, 6:42 a.m. The guy beside me is balancing a take-out coffee, a pharmacy bag, and a hardcover copy of War and Peace. He opens the bag, pops a small white tablet, and within two stops he’s highlighting paragraphs like the train lights just flipped from dim to surgical. Same pill my cousin […]
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Last Tuesday, Maria from Austin opened her laptop at 2 a.m., fed up with the $250 doctor visit just to renew the pill that keeps her brain awake during double shifts. She typed “buy Provigil without prescription”, crossed her fingers, and fifteen minutes later had a tracking number for 60 tablets shipped from a licensed […]
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My neighbor Dave, a long-haul pilot, swears the only thing standing between him and a runway nap is a small white tablet he calls “Dave’s second coffee.” He’s talking about Provigil. Across the street, my cousin Mara–night-shift nurse, mother of twins–calls hers “the mute button on fatigue.” Same pill, different war stories. The question they […]
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Last March I walked out of a Manhattan pharmacy with 30 brand-name tablets and a receipt for $712.48. The same evening my friend in Milwaukee showed me her phone: she had just filled the identical prescription through a grocery-store discount app–$38.72. The pills looked the same, tasted the same, kept us both awake through overnight […]
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Last Tuesday, my neighbor Lena dragged herself to the door at 7 a.m., eyes like wet sandpaper, holding a coffee that smelled burnt and defeated. She’d been up until three wrapping a client launch, and her nine-year-old still expected pancakes shaped like dinosaurs. I tossed her a blister card I keep in the junk drawer–modafinil […]
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Last winter my alarm went off at 4:45 a.m. for the third week straight. I was stacking boxes in a New Jersey warehouse, grabbing whatever overtime I could, and still nodding off on the turnpike drive home. A buddy who does night shifts at Newark airport slipped me a blister strip–ten 200 mg tablets, sun-yellow, […]
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I stood in line at CVS last March, clutching a fresh script for Provigil 200 mg. The pharmacist tapped the screen, winced, and slid the debit reader toward me: $1,137 for thirty tablets. A month’s supply–more than my rent. Behind me, a mother of three whispered “Same thing happened to my son.” We weren’t outliers; […]