Last Tuesday, 3:17 p.m.–my laptop fan sounded like a jet, the quarterly report was due in forty-three minutes, and my brain felt like it had been wrapped in wet wool. Coffee number four had done nothing except send my heartbeat tap-dancing. I remembered my old roommate, a paramedic who pulled double shifts, swearing by Adrafinil, […]
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My friend Dave once tried to out-smart his shift-work fog with triple espressos and a standing desk. By 3 a.m. he was hallucinating spreadsheets. A week later he walked into a clinic, told the doctor he was nodding off at red lights, and left with a pink slip for Provigil. No drama, no dark-web treasure […]
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Last Tuesday at 6 a.m. my neighbor, a barista-slash-music-producer, knocked on my door holding two mugs and a blister strip. “Half or whole?” he asked. He’d been awake since Sunday, mixing an EP and pulling doubles at the café. The man looked like he’d slept nine hours–bright eyes, steady hands, no coffee tremor. The strip […]
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My neighbor Dave drives a night taxi in Boston. Two years ago he was ready to quit–3 a.m. eyelids like concrete, passengers yelling because he missed their street. Then his pharmacy handed him the teal-striped pack with the little octagon logo. Same shift, same potholes, but now he clocks off at six, jogs the dog, […]
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Last Tuesday at 6 a.m. my neighbor Kyle was already on his second cup of coffee and still yawning over the snow-covered windshield. By 6:15 he’d swallowed a small white pill bought from a Manitoba pharmacy that ships overnight, and by 7 he was coding like it was noon. The pill was generic Provigil–modafinil–ordered online […]
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I used to think the phrase “wake up refreshed” was written by people who sleep in silk pajamas and have someone else walk the dog. Then a friend–who balances two kids, law school at night, and a 6-to-2 warehouse shift–slipped me a blister strip the size of a credit card. One pale tablet, swallowed with […]
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Last Friday, a courier dropped off a urine cup labeled “DOT–Random.” Inside the lab, we cracked it open, ran the standard 10-panel, and the amphetamine strip blinked negative. Thirty minutes later, the same donor’s boss called, panicked: “He takes Provigil for shift-work disorder–will that flag something?” Short answer: not on the panel we just ran, […]
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You know the feeling–alarm rings, head hums, inbox already 47 deep. You haven’t even poured coffee and the day feels spent. Two summers ago I was stuck in that loop, editing copy for a sports-wear catalogue while my toddler practiced drums on the rice-cooker lid. A friend slid a small blister pack across the pub […]
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I first met Provigil in a neon-lit hospital corridor at 3 a.m., when a resident slipped my husband a sample blister and whispered, “This will keep you awake for the board exam, just don’t take it every day.” The pill was small, almost cute, like a mint that could pay our rent. Within an hour […]
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My cousin Tim, 28, used to tape neon index cards on his fridge just to remember whether he’d eaten lunch. Last month he sent me a selfie from his desk–no sticky notes, just a cold slice of pizza in one hand and a project brief in the other. The only thing that changed: a 200 […]